An Examination of Valentine's Day, or, Stop Slobbering and Get To Class!

Ohh, Valentine's day. The holiday has befallen us once more.
It's a difficult holiday to appreciate if you don't have a significant other- unless you're extremely comfortable in your single-ness. I have a few points under this topic.
Firstly, I would point out that St. Valentine was a martyr. However, this doesn't entirely un-hinge the whole idea of valentine's day being about love. In fact, Valentine was martyred for secretly marrying Christians, who the totalitarian jerkwad in power, Claudius, was busy trying to persecute.
Secondly, I feel as if Valentine's day is the most celebrated holiday in high schools. My father, who teaches at a high school, told me that on many days, for birthdays, but mostly on Valentine's day, the office is barraged by an unending slew of flowers and chocolates and balloons. Woohoo, public school administration, your own personal delivery service! This makes me wonder if the front office lady who drawls names across the intercom several thousand times a year ever gets tired of Valentine's day. Maybe she thinks it's cute.
Point 2.5: The deliveries are only half of the bru-haha on Valentine's. More couples than usual seem to be slobbering all over each other in the middle of the hallway. It's a dangerous place out there. Already this morning I've seen way too many plushie hearts. I can understand most of it. Couples want to scream their love for each other for all the world to hear. But the making out/slobbering/gallonsofspit exchanges? We could do without that. Also, plushie hearts? What are you going to do with them after today, sleep with them? Generally a useless item, also sort of ugly.
But the chocolate and the flowers, those are great. And that is why I love Valentine's day. At least for the time being.
Thirdly, there's a certain population of teenaged girls, similar in dynamic to a ravenous, hate-filled wolf pack, who proclaim their displeasure of Valentine's day loud and clear. [Almost louder than the drawl of the intercom lady, reciting her never ending list of names throughout the day.]
It's all fine and dandy to not like Valentine's day. I don't blame you. I've been there and done that. But there's no reason to whine about it. Go ahead and throw your anti-love parties, I just don't want to hear about them. Go somewhere else with your negativity. Maybe you could even teach those slobbering couples a lesson!